Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, UK: British Seaside with a big heap of Chav with a side of cheese

As our Volvo’s MOT was up and as expected it failed.  We’re not investing a lot of money in it (too many to list and fix), so we’re in need of a new car asap.  We want a similar car to the current one – essentially a junker with a good amount of MOT to get us through for a short while.  So we took a trip to see two cars listed on Gumtree.com with hope and open minds.

Long story short, but based on the shady dude in the trailer in the lot, combined with crumbled up, dirty magazine in full view on the grass in the back part of the lot, we had enough and got out of there. Though I think Nils sort of liked the Rover (Honda Accord model).  The second car was a no go too. What do you expect with cars under £500 right?!  As we were done, it was early afternoon and we were on the A47 towards Great Yarmouth, we thought we’d just go there for a bit and let the kids have some fun.

This poor place seems like a ghost casino – perhaps it’s an “original”?
Not too much has changed with the Strip area is called the “GOLDEN MILE” since we were therefor our first visit to Great Yarmouth in October when we first arrived.  If you look online at UNCYCLOPEDIA, you’ll get the gist and a big laugh:  “..the number one holiday destination for the chavs, elderly and deceased of the Great BritainIt proudly boasts the greatest number of people with the lowest collective IQ in the whole of the northern hemisphere” and it goes on and on as it bad mouths.

Chav? No clue what that means, so after looking it up, this is a person who is called a “Chav” tends to look like.  (NOTE: These are all internet images.) 

If you were to look online here: Chavtown.co.uk, you’ll find this write up about GY!

Yarmouth has no integrity, no dignity no soul and no hope. It’s only hope is for the government to pass a law allowing towns to commit euthanasia. Or alternatively for a tsunami of biblical proportions to race down the north sea, eradicating any trace of Yarmouth ever existing and reclaim it for the sea. Or maybe we should hope that soon, somewhere, we will bring forth a new world leader for us to hail. He who will develop ‘The Final Solution’ and test it out on the east coast chavs.
Great Yarmouth not only supports the highest concentration of Chavs in East Anglia, but it is also the number 1 mecca for Chav holidaymakers! They bring down their whole bloody Chav family, Kevin (#1 cheese name in UK), Shaz and the usual 8 babies … Madison, Courtney, Brooklyn, Dean, Tracey, Kev Junior, Kev Junior 2 and they ran out of names for Chav baby number 8!

The side of the road is littered with failed MOT cars that did not make it all the way to Yarmouth, broken glass where they extracted their 40’ woofers and Halfords $2.99 chipped hub caps.

It’s a hard life being a Chav, that’s why for 1 week a year they save up a few giro’s and take a week off. With the amount of choice available these days to holiday abroad, only a Chav would order a brochure on Great Yarmouth and sign up for a classy week of donkey s**te, deep fried lard take-away, partying hardcore at the Long Bar (apparently the longest bar in the UK – or perhaps the longest line of twats in the UK), hilarious puking and pissing on street corners, trying to shag a 14 year old or 50 year old chavette, and watching the Norfolk Chav grand-prix along the seafront every night!

Half the shops are closed, and the rest are selling mainly frozen food. Mothercare are still there, and I think there’s probably a Poundland, Iceland, Nettos and Halfords (all the classic Chav outlets under one roof). If they haven’t been blinded by their white trainers or intoxicated by the am

 the high quality eateries. Sir has the choice of McDonalds or KFC (next to each other), eating in or standing outside making a tit of yourself pulling faces at locals on the bus. Can be bit of a dangerous area, as you can slip on the milk shake which is all over the pavement.

Options are to punt away the giro on the slotties, throw lager cans at the Seagulls, or head to the Pleasure Beach or Joyland. Joyland is for toddlers and it’s a better laugh for them, as they can terroriZe 5 year old kids on the Snails ride, usually by pulling moonies and flicking their fag butts.
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Sadly the jokes can go on and on for hours and once you’ve spent more than an hour there, you’ll agree with all of them!

Of course, there were loads of shady, mothers smoking while pushing baby strollers with them or their s/o’s dressed in swishy suits [aka track suits]. Tons of fish &amp chip shops, Vegas-named casinos. Plus tons of fun stuff for the kids like rides, mini golf, a huge Sealife Aquarium (entrance fee is a small fortune!), rock climbing wall, bowling, swimming and the beach, of course.  Probably the only new thing were the items found during the summer months – like loads of horse drawn carriages (who left massive amounts of poop in their path), donkeys on the beach near the pier and blow up slides and bouncy castles galore. The Pleasure Beach amusement park was open and quite busy too.  I just have to say, glad we were there during the day on a Sunday.  I’m not thinking it would be my type of place on a Saturday night!! 🙂  I’d rather be home and in my PJs!  If I were to find a place in the US, I’d say it’s a mix between Hampton Beach, Revere Beach and Jersey Shore but with less money.

The kids both rode on some rides at Joyland Fun Fair.   When we were there in October, Nils had to ride on the Snail ride with the kids as Maebh was too small.  This time she was tall enough so she and Soren rode it together.  While she said at the end with a smile that it was fun, the photos I have of her are in sheer panic which meant to me she HATED it! When I asked her a bit later if she wanted another go, she said no, so I went on with Soren.

We also tried the donuts which we see all over the place.  Four donuts for a pound – they were so great.  A little machine with dough, popped out some circle batter into grease, fried it and then it automatically was sent down the assembly line until it dropped into your sugar of choice – plain or cinnamon.  We got two of each and they were bad for you and oh so yummy!!

We offered the kids a ride on the donkeys or some funfair rides and some time in Mr. Wobbles Bouncy Castle and Slide (the smallest of the blow ups on the beach).  They opted for the later and had so much fun.  Soren is an old pro at the slides and rides and found a friend to play with for a bit,  Maebh had to put in a lot of effort and made it to the top and down.  The only thing she would not do is go inside the clown as it was scary.

It was a big heaping load of cheese, but fun for the kids and that was what made it fun for us too.

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